Sunday, December 30, 2012

RUSSIA BANS U.S. ADOPTION



On December 28th, Americans were shocked at the horrific news of president Vladamir Putin of Russia signing a bill to ban Americans from adopting from his country.  This came as a stunner to me and doesn't even feel real.  The optimist in me keeps telling myself that this will just go away and this unthinkable political statement will be quickly overturned.  The reality, however, is that it just may not.

President Obama signed a bill called the Magnitsky Act which punishes Russian citizens who have been seen as violating human rights laws, and prevents them from coming to the U.S. owning land or assets in the U.S. and some other things.  In retaliation and having nothing to do with this bill, Russia set into motion an amendment to an already existing law in their country, issuing a complete ban on Americans to adopt Russian orphans.

This political move by Putin baffles most and has outraged the world.  In addition to outrage is total pain and fear of approximately 46 families who are nearing the completion of their adoptions of children they have already committed to and met.  Children who have been rocked by their new parents, given photos of and promised that they would be back to take them home.  I can't even comprehend what this all means and fathom what kind of heartbreak these families are experiencing right now. In addition, there are about 200 families who are in the early process of adopting and have already committed to children in Russia.  My heart breaks for them and I find myself trying to escape this reality by pretending like it's not really happening.

It has been our hearts desire to adopt a baby boy from a Russian orphanage.  Our upcoming move to Maryland had postponed the process, as we were advised not to move while in the adoption process as it could set us back or even cause us to lose our adoption.  So in the mean time, we have been fundraising so that we are better prepared financially for when we started the process in February.  Our hearts screamed at us to start the process at the moment we got the promoting to adopt back in June, but circumstances including our move and also a hefty price tag of around $40,000 for the adoption process put a damper on our hopes for instant gratification.  Looking back now and considering these terrible turn of events, we realize that we could have been one of those families being denied their child if we had started before we were ready.  I'm not sure what to think about this.  I can't feel fortunate because I am sick for those who were not fortunate.  I can't be happy as I think about what this means for so many children who were teased with the dream of a family and escaping the nightmare they are currently living.  Really all I feel is disgust.

So what does this all mean for our family?  Will we still be fundraising?  Will we still be adopting?  I would like to assure all of you that this isn't stopping us.  Our goal of rescuing an orphan was set for Russia, but if we can't save one from Russia, we will save an orphan somewhere else in the world.  There are millions of orphans in the world living in conditions you and I as Americans couldn't even fathom. From severely malnourished children in Uganda and Ethiopia to babies abandoned in India, there are so many developing nations who have orphan epidemics.  What we truly are praying for is that Russia will overturn this law and once again open up their country to Americans adopting their orphans. 

We are moving to Maryland in February and have raised to date nearly $7,000.  We are working on knocking down our debt and are seeing the passage of this new law as well as a few other events as signs that we need to hold off a bit and take our time to make sure all of our ducks are in a row.  The closer we get to our goal of $40,000, and the longer we have to pay off our personal debt, the quicker and smoother our process of adoption will be when it comes.  When we started thinking about adoption and the amount of money we needed to come up with, we felt an overwhelming burden of stress immediately strap on to our shoulders.  We have experienced many hurdles in the past 7 months and so many ups and downs.  We never realized that there would be so much emotional turmoil that would accompany this process.  We are learning though.  We are growing, and despite any low moments or any bigger set backs like this bill being passed, we are certain that the Lord is driving this bus and will lead us to our final destination.  Perhaps we will take a detour or two, but we will arrive.  I promise you.  You will see a success story posted on this site.  You will watch us travel to a country and meet our child.  You will watch us bring him or her home and receive the family that God had planned all along. 

Please pray for the orphans in Russia and all over the world.  We cannot save all of them.  We really can't even put a dent in the problem.  But we can help where we can.  If it means just saving one life.  One precious life, isn't it worth it?  I look at each of my three children and think about how much they are worth to me and what I would do for each of them.  Would I travel across the world three times for them?  Would I pay $40,000 for one of them?  Absolutely!  Would I want them to be malnourished and living without a mommy or daddy?  Would I want them to live in a crib all day?  Never in a million years.  So if I know that there is a child right now living in the world somewhere in these conditions and all I have to do is come up with this money and make this very scary and unpredictable step of adopting to stop it from happening to him, will I?  Yes.  Absolutely. 

Please continue to pray for our family and our journey.  Please continue to support us in any way that you can.  Please help raise awareness about the injustice that is being done by President Putin and pray for a speedy resolve. 

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Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Bishop's Storehouse

 
The other week I volunteered my time to serve at the Bishop's Storehouse.  It is a food bank that is funded by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and is available to families in need of some help feeding their families during rough times.  All of the food is completely free for them, but they have to have met with their bishop and be approved for this service. 

I had heard from many that serving in the storehouse, although providing only temporal needs to others, allows you to feel the spirit of the Lord distinctly.  I was really excited to go, but didn't know what to expect at all.  We had a sign-up sheet go around at church asking for volunteers during this busy holiday season, and only one other person had signed up for Wednesday.

Keiffer came home from work early to watch the kids so I could go volunteer.  The storehouse was only about 25 minutes from my house.  It was in a part of town where there are a lot of big warehouses.  When I arrived I went through the warehouse entrance and walked into what looked like a tiny grocery store's back room.  I was met by a few familiar faces and directed into the food storage warehouse.  This is such a cool place because it is stocked with huge 25lb plus bags of food storage essentials.  If you know anything about us Mormons, we are big on preparing ourselves for any disaster or hard time and building up our food storage at home.  I just ordered my first "official" food storage starter kit that comes with red wheat, white sugar, white rice, and some other essentials.  I am going over to a member of our church's home this Saturday to do my very own canning!  I am so excited, and it makes me feel so good that we are now on our way to preparing ourselves as has been emphasized in our church.  We have been storing bottled water and canned goods, but I found out that things like wheat and sugar can lasts years and years, so that is a better way to go.



Everyone in the storehouse is a volunteer.  Many of the people there including those who run the storehouse are members of our church who are serving full time missions.  This means they commit 2 years to serving the Lord solely and move away from their homes to serve where they are needed.  It is such a sacrifice but a tremendous blessing.  One elder sat me down and trained me on how the storehouse works, what I will be doing and where everything is.  I then got to go stand at the front door and wait for someone to come in with an order.  I was a little nervous, but reminded myself that the people coming in are probably a bit nervous too.  I know that most people don't feel very great about admitting they need help, and I'm sure it can be quite difficult for some to make it known to others that they are having a hard time.



My first and only customer of the night was a man my same age with a wife and two children at home.  He was a little rough around the edges with tattoos all over, but a very friendly smile.  We got to chatting and next thing you know we were taking FOREVER to get through the aisles!  We were having a grand time talking.  We are both converts to the church and it turns out that he was adopted!  I thought that so wonderful that we had something in common.  He was adopted from America, but his story is the same as many who are placed for adoption.  His mother abused drugs and he was taken away.  He sings praises to the adoption process and is so grateful to his adoptive parents for raising him.  He was picking out a lot of items for making Mexican food which I love and he shared that his wife is half Mexican and they cook authentic food all the time.  He invited my family and me over for an authentic meal sometime.  Funny, my first thought was "I'm not going to let him cook for us when he can't even afford food for his own family", but then I was reminded of something Anthony Robbins said in his Get the Edge program, "You can't deny others the pleasure of being able to serve you".  How true is that?  I know that when I serve someone or have someone over for dinner, I feel so blessed and so wonderful that I can share my time and my food with a special person.  Maybe taking the burden of their having to cook dinner for their large family, or giving them a break from the mundane.  So I gladly accepted his offer and after a lengthy conversation with lots of laughs and commonalities, he gave me his and his wife's phone numbers and hopes we will call them to get together. 

Once the man left, I proceeded to stock shelves.  I went back and forth from the warehouse and the main room to fill the shelves with generic food, household and personal items.  And then it hit me…  the Spirit.  Somewhere between the spaghetti sauce and the rice, I nearly lost it.  My heart got so full and I was so humbled by the blessings in my life.  I looked at the basic food that I was unpacking and sorting on the shelves for people to eat.  No chips.  No cookies.  No name brands.  Just basic stuff to keep people alive.  I thanked God for all He has given me.  For the roof over my head, the car that takes me anywhere I need to go.  For my children and my husband.  For the military and the benefits that we are given.  For the clothing I have and endless options of food I get to choose from at the grocery stores I regularly shop. 



I sucked up the tears swelling in my eyes, and moved on.  I was humbled repeatedly in the 4 hours I served and it was all in moments when I was stacking cans and drifting off in my mind thinking about what the storehouse represents and what it means for people to come here.  I kept thinking, "How can I help more?  What can I do for others that will make an impact?"  In moments like these I just feel like I am not doing enough to help those around me. I have so much and at times I complain about my life, but there are so many struggling not just to get to the gym, to get some time away from their kids, or that they can't find organic chicken breast in their local market. 

I am reminded of all of the people in the world who live off porridge day in and day out.  Who wear the same tattered clothes week after week.  Who never leave the confines of their home, or crib.  I think of the orphans in Russia who sit in their cribs day after day, month after month, year after year just waiting... Waiting for something to happen.  Maybe a different meal than their usual twice a day chicken and whatever porridge.  For someone to hold them… for someone to love them. 



There are so many things I take for granted in my life.  It is sad that it really takes effort to stop and take a cold hard look at the world that exists outside of my bubble.  So many people don't want their bubble to be popped, and they want to remain ignorant to the realities of poverty and neglect in the lives of others.  Ignorance is bliss sometimes, but what I have been learning is that it is not.  There is such joy and blessings that come in seeing a need and helping out in the capacity you can.  Knowing that even if you don't make a difference to a huge amount of people, you are helping with one. 

When I left the storehouse I was so grateful for the experience.  I called my mom and shared about my day and we brainstormed other ways that we can help the needy.  My mom says she has always wanted to volunteer at a soup kitchen during the holidays.  I said, "Do it.  Look one up and call them."  How often do things like this pop into our head, but we don't take the time to research how to make them happen, and so we never do.  For years I have wanted to go to the dollar store, buy tons of little toys and gifts for children, wrap them and bring them to a homeless shelter to distribute to kids at Christmas.  My friend's mom took me at around age 7 to do this and I will never forget it.  It truly is better to give than to receive.  My friend has been doing this Christmas tradition the past few years called "Christmas Angel Tree" where you sponsor an orphan for the month of December and try to raise money for their adoption fund.  These are special needs kids who otherwise may not be adopted, but through this website Reece's Rainbow, there is hope that someone will see their photo and that there is a fund already set up for them to be adopted, and perhaps be chosen.  We want to do this as well. 
I think it is important to just do something.  Don't let month after month and year after year go by denying yourself and others the blessings of serving. It may be something big that you do, or something very small.  Don't let the everyday and the not knowing how stop you from seeking out people, programs, or organizations that need support or volunteers.  I testify to you that when you serve others, you in turn will be blessed.  That you will feel the Spirit of the Lord and it will witness unto you that God is real, and that in serving others you are doing the Lord's work here on earth.

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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Yard Sale Fundraiser!

 
This past Saturday we held our first community charity yard sale to help raise funds for our adoption.  We spread the word to our friends that we would be hosting a yard sale about 3 weeks prior to the sale, and opened up our garage for donations.  People were super generous and were unloading their goods at our place to sell almost immediately.  My original intent for the sale was simply to get rid of my massive stash of baby items just sitting in totes in my garage.  I had far too many items for having just one more baby, of which most had been handed down to me.  Before I knew it, our whole garage was full of donations and I hadn't even touched my totes yet.  Three days prior to the sale I went through the totes and got rid of about 60% of my things, which ended up being thousands of baby clothes, and other items! 
 
On Friday, Keiffer spent the entire day making about 6 trips back and forth to our friends Ken and Lisa Becker's home, where the yard sale would be.  More donations were dropped off by some of our friends and Keiffer also made a few trips to other friends' homes picking up a few larger items, including a futon, TV and table.  At home I was making signs, gathering up last minute things, cutting thank you cards, and panicking that I wasn't going to pull everything off the next morning.  I didn't have any solid volunteers, and the sale was advertised to start at 7am.  I had two large banners I wanted people to hold out on the main road, 7 arrow signs directing traffic our way that I needed set up, and more people to help me set the sale up and price things.  Way too many tasks for just one person to undertake, but it was looking like that was what was going to happen.
 
Once Keiffer made his last drop off that night, I headed to the house to start setting up the tables and tent.  I was tired from all the preparation work and wasn't feeling like I was going to make it another few hours doing the necessary set up.  When I got to the Becker's home, three of my their kids were sitting in the garage playing dress up with the donated clothes. It was such a blessing to me because they kept me awake and entertained, and were a huge help. They helped me in the dark to set up all the tables, unload one last truck full of things and put the tent up.  I discovered the coolest thing, which I had never tried before.  A head lamp!  I don't know what I ever did without one.  That thing worked so well, and was the only way I could see what I was doing!
 
The next morning I woke up at 4am, got ready and headed to set up.  When I got there it was obviously pitch dark, and I couldn't find a light switch in the garage.  I later found out there wasn't one.  Fortunately someone had donated a table with a lamp attached, so I plugged it in and it was just the right amount of light. Tender mercies from the lord I say! At 5:15am, a van pulled up and I got a little nervous.  About 5:30am three people came out of it in the heavy fog and asked if this was the yard sale, like they were ready to shop.  I said, yes, but it doesn't start until 7am.  They couldn't speak much English, but said okay and went back and sat in their van waiting.  That got me so stressed out.  I didn't have anything out of the garage yet and all of the tables were soaked because of the heavy fog.  The only people I knew who were coming to help were the missionaries from our church, but not until 6:30am.  I was supposed to run and pick up a babysitter and bring her back to the house to watch our kids while Keiffer came with me back to the garage sale, but that plan had to change since people were already waiting in their car for the sale to start!
 
I tried my best to start pulling things out of the garage, but hadn't opened any of the bags or boxes before three trucks full of people came at 6am!!  Then I went into real panic mode.  It was really strange because all of these people were Hispanic and had big trucks full of other pieces of furniture, like they had been going to sales all week.  I told them all the sale didn't start until 7am and I didn't even have everything out of the garage yet or even priced, but they all started breaking open bags, roaming into the garage and piling things up!  It was total insanity.  I was the only person there, the sun was just coming up and I had three groups of people wanting me to price the things they had in their piles. The very first sale I had was a couple who live in Mexico and just come over here to San Diego to get things at garage sales and bring them back over the border.  They bought a ton of stuff from bouncers, walkers, a television, you name it!  More people started pouring in and by the time my friend Mary got there to help I was totally overwhelmed as I had people pulling me in every direction asking questions and buying things.  Right after that Keiffer and the missionaries arrived to help, and also the Becker family had woken up and came out.  Everything got taken out of the garage and set up, but we had so much stuff that half of the clothes, blankets and household items couldn't even fit on the tables!  They were being spread all over the ground or left completely in the bags!  We really did have enough stuff for three yard sales!
 
The flow of people was steady for hours.  Some young men from our church came in a large group.  They had come from some meeting for something and were willing to move some heavier items for us, and also go out on the road and hold up some banners to get the traffic continually flowing our way.  Later we had another set of our friends from church come and help hold the signs out on the road.  The sale had been going on for at least 5 hours or so before any pictures were taken, so all of the pictures on this post are AFTER the mad rush, and look at how much more stuff we had!
 
We sold 6 dozen Krispy Creme donuts and juice in addition to our regular yard sale items.  It was fun for everyone to participate in selling them.  Lots of friends from our church came to support us, but we also got to meet a bunch of wonderful new people.  Keiffer and I had long conversations with a few of them which gave us a nice little boost of enthusiasm for what we are embarking on.  One woman had adopted domestically and was just thrilled that someone else was going to enjoy the blessings of adopting, and she wanted to be a part of it by donating.  Another woman was just over the moon about our cause and that she was able to help by purchasing things.  It was such a relief that everything was going well, that people were in fact coming to our sale, and that the whole thing was looking like a big success.
 
The night before the sale, I asked Keiffer how much he thought we would make from the sale.  In my mind I was thinking, $700, but wanted to see his response.  He replied, "$700".  I was shocked.  My exact number!  Well, when I counted everything up at about 1pm, when the crowd had really died down, we were at $800!  We had exceeded our expectations and I felt a great sense of relief.  I felt so blessed that the Lord had delivered.  That so many people wanted to help us out by donating their items, time, and resources.
 
Here is a little list of of gratitude we have for our friends.  Thank you to the Kingsford family, the Koopman family, Meg Snipes, the Tyler family, the Jones family, Suzi Camp, the Stevens family, the Fisher family, the MacArthur family, the the Miller family, the Anderson family, the McClure family, and the Becker family for donating items to sell.  Thank you to the Becker family for providing the location, helping us set up and sell, babysitting and providing lunch. Thank you to Allie Dean for babysitting our little ones while we were at the sale.  Thank you to the Butner's for lending us your truck.  Thank you to the Elders, the Kuemmerle's, the Cook's and the Young Men for helping us set up, sell and hold up signs.  Thank you to all of our friends from church that we saw shopping and supporting us.  Thank you to all of the strangers who came and helped in our efforts to rescue an orphan.  We are so blessed to have so many people who care about us and support what we are doing.  And to everyone I am forgetting right now, THANK YOU!  I am sorry if your name didn't pop in my head as I am writing this.  It's not because you are anything less than wonderful, I am just having a brain fart ;)
 
So, our yard sale was such a tremendous success, and we literally still have about half of what was in the sale to begin with, that we have decided to go another round and have another sale this Saturday!  Same location.  Toward the end of the sale we had neighbors bringing over more things to sell, the family who purchased the futon ended up donating a sofa, chair and scooters, so there are more things that people didn't even get to see.  It is so cool!  So we will see what happens this weekend.     

 
 









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