Meeting The Kids!!

The day had finally arrived!  After nearly 6 years of dreaming, 2.5 years of searching and 5 months of prepping, we were finally to meet the two children whom we had selected out of hundreds of orphaned children to host through Project One Forty Three, who would possibly become our son and daughter!  The months leading up to June were filled with more stress, paperwork, money and time than I can fully express.  I could break it all down for you item by item and hurdle by hurdle, but that would be lengthy and rather boring.  So I will jump right to the good stuff and the news that I know you have all been waiting for.

After doing some serious cleaning, shopping and planning, and after dropping off Calista, Bridget and Tennyson with friends, Keiffer Penelope and I were on our way to New York City.  Actually, we were to be staying in Jamaica, New York, which is right next to JFK airport.  It was my first time in New York, so I was in awe.  We made it to our hotel way later than anticipated and only had time to go grab a late dinner.  We went to a Jamaican restaurant on a street corner, and quickly realized that we were the only white people there. In fact, the only white people in the whole neighborhood!  It didn’t matter to us but just made us look like the only smart white people in town who knew where the good food was at!  Definitely a culture shock though, as most of the people were literally Jamaican with accents and all.  That and an awful lot of extremely high stilettoes and some seriously tight dresses!  Anyhow, we had a good experience but were ready to get the baby to bed and meet the new day.

Arrival day had finally come and my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.  They were clammy and I was so nervous.  So many thoughts were going through my head, and my nerves were firing off.  Keiffer kept telling me that everything was going to be okay, but it didn’t help much.  Mostly I was nervous that we would all be let down.  Such high hopes and expectations had been made on my part, and I’m sure the kids as well, and I was terrified of something not going just the way we had all planned.

Dressed to impress in our patriotic gear, we loaded up the car with our gifts, balloons and sign and headed to Queens to pick up our professional photographer.  Yes, we hired a pro to capture the event for us, but the best part is that he did it all for free!  I emailed a bunch of wonderful photographers in the New York area asking that they donate their services to us for this special occasion, and Melvin Gilbert excitedly accepted.  He said he had always wanted to do something like this.  We picked him up and headed to JFK.

Once there we met up with Project One Forty Three, and some other host families. 

A woman had received a picture on her phone of the kids when they were at the airport in Europe, so everyone was passing the phone around trying to spot their kids, including us!

After reviewing details of the program, and chatting with other excited parents, it was time for the kids to come out of customs and head our way. We stood at the end of a long walk-way where people were arriving from flights.  Kinda like a red carpet area you see celebrities walk down, only no red carpet, and definitely no fancy gowns and suits.  We stood anxiously with our American flags waving in the air and a sign held high in the air with their names and faces for them to easily see.  Then all of a sudden, we saw a sea of yellow hats coming our way. 

They put all of the children coming from the same country in the same color hat so they are easily identified. Towering above all of the rest of the kids we got our first glimpse of our 6’1” A!  My heart pumped as I was not expecting such a huge boy!  I don’t know why but in my mind my 14 year old boy was going to be shorter than me.  Keiffer joked, “Ah and he’s got his hat backwards looking like a thug!” Then I hear Keiffer say excitedly, “Oh, I see E!”  I looked around and there she was in a messy pulled back bun and yellow hat, my tiny little European girl.  She looked around nervously trying to spot us.  When we all caught eyes I could see their nervous smiles.  Keiffer and I joked that we needed to curb our enthusiasm a bit as we didn’t want to scare them off with our flapping American flags and our obnoxious waving.  

We made our way through the sea of united families, and gave the kids each a hug.  They were both very nervous and shy.  It was awkward because we all didn’t really know how to act toward one another. I started asking questions and making comments about how excited we were that they had arrived, but they didn’t lead on that they understood what we were saying. We joked at how tall A was and how tiny E was. 

Neither said a word the whole time we were in the airport, but instead just nodded and smiled.  I grabbed the interpreter who was their chaperone and asked if she could translate for us.  I told them that we were so excited that they were here, and told of our plans for going back to the hotel room.  After translating a few things, the translator turned to me and said, “I think they are just being shy.  They actually speak more English than you think”.  The kids giggled at this, but I was still under the impression that they could only understand basic things.  We offered them water and took them to the restroom.  On the way A. gave Keiffer a box of chocolates from their country, which he was very excited about!  We were not expecting a gift from them!  I took E. with me to the restroom and asked her if she was tired.  She shook her head no.  I said in a silly way, “Are you ready to party?”, and she laughed and shook her head yes.  E. immediately took hold of the stroller and started pushing Penelope.  I could tell this was going to be a good match.

After hanging around and waiting as our photographer took pictures of all the families, we headed back to the car.  At the car, E. dug into her backpack and handed me another box of specialty chocolates from their country as a gift!  It was so cool and unexpected. 

We got stuck in pretty bad traffic on the way back to Queens and ended up taking an exit and dropping Melvin off at a Subway station instead of his apartment.  The kids were starting to fade and it was only around 3pm in New York, but was 11pm their time. It was a very busy day of travel for them.  We swung by McDonalds to grab some food to take back to the hotel.  As we were navigating back to the hotel I was trying to communicate with the kids using an app on my phone called Google Translate. I would speak into it something like, “I’m nervous too.” And “This is my first time in New York as well”.  And it would speak the sentence back to them  in their native tongue but in a very robotic voice.  The kids just smiled, giggled, and looked a bit confused at the same time.

We arrived back at the hotel and began eating.  All of a sudden the kids started speaking… in English!  Like fluent English!  Well I sure felt like a dummy with all my google translating and talking to an interpreter.  The kids thought it was hilarious that they “fooled” us.  We gave the kids their “goody bags”, which had all of the personal hygiene items they would need, some clothes, underwear, shoes and some gifts.  

After a shower, A. and E. were in good spirits and began acting like kids.  E. even jumped up on the bed next to me and snuggled into me with a big hug, holding on tightly with gratitude.  It was awesome and very surreal!  We stayed up for another few hours and set up the movie Frozen on the lap top on their bed.  E. eagerly moved over for me to sit next to her.  I did and she snuggled into my chest and fell asleep.  A. fell asleep as well.  The kids both slept from 7pm to 6am.

We got everything packed up and ready to go, then headed down to the lobby for breakfast.  Not knowing what kind of nutrition the kids get in their home and what kind of eating routine they are used to, we were concerned about how the buffet would go.  I showed them everything that was available and they both chose a little box of cereal.  I got them some juice and some fruit and put it in front of them, along with some croissants.  I was told through host and adoption training that the best way to get a child to eat who has been in an institution is to place a variety of food in front of them and encourage them to eat.  I kept asking if they wanted this that or the other thing, but they declined.  They did however start snacking on the fruit, and both drank their juice.  A. told me that in their home, they have four meals a day and they can eat as much as they want.  Both kids are rails, with little more than skin and bones, so although they can have all they want, I am assuming it isn’t very nutritious.

We decided to head to Times Square in New York for a few hours.  Long story short, it was a disaster trying to get there, but after massive traffic, many wrong turns, and navigating through the subway, we arrived.  It was crazy, but the kids didn’t seem to mind.  They have been on subways and buses before, so it wasn’t new to them at all.  It was there in New York that I got my first glimpse of how protective A. is of E.  He was constantly by her side, watching her and making sure she stayed close.  He even helped direct her around sidewalks as she pushed Penelope in the stroller.  

We did just a little shopping, had some lunch and hit the road.  We hit some serious traffic trying to get out of the city.  It was stop and go for about 2 hours and E. ended up getting car sick and throwing up all of her lunch in a bag!  We also had to stop on the side of the road so A. could go to the bathroom.  Once out of New York, I switched seats with E. so she could sit up front to ease her car sickness, and it helped.  On the way home we stopped a few times, and at one gas station where we all got out, I was able to take some super cute pictures of the kids. Here is one of those shots, and one I don't have to put a heart over their faces!

We got back far later than expected and picked up Tennyson from our friend’s house at 10:30pm.  We decided to have the girls stay at their friend’s house until the morning.  Once home we showed the kids the house and their rooms.  They seemed to like them.  It was really great to finally be home and see what life would be like together.

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Making Contact!

We've made contact with our host children!!  To our complete shock, Keiffer received a friend request on Facebook 10 days ago from A!  We had no idea that he even knew about us, and were told by Project 143 that they wouldn't find out about us until a few days before they flew out.  We were also told that they wouldn't receive their welcome letters we wrote them introducing ourselves and sharing family photos until the plane ride over here.  At this point it was 2.5 weeks before they will be here, and here a Facebook connection?!  Crazy!

There were so many feelings.  Total excitement that he is interested in us, shock that he found Keiffer, and fear because we didn't know what to do next.  There are a lot of rules that each of our agencies and also the Latvian government have set that place restrictions on the amount of information that can be shared online about hosting, but more importantly adoption.  Unlike other countries that you see people adopting from and sharing photos and information about their journey publicly, Latvia does not allow that.  We have been told by our hosting agency that we cannot discuss adoption with the kids at all (for fear of getting their hopes up in case the adoption doesn't go through), and from our adoption agency we have been told we cannot share their names, photos or any details that could give away their identity. Latvia is extremely strict and we do not want to risk our adoption not working out by making a public connection through Facebook.  So pretty much, we panicked!

I called my P143 Regional Coordinator and asked for an explanation on how A found us this early, and also what the protocol is for this situation.  We have stuff posted all over our Facebook about our plans to host and adopt, and if we befriend them, people will see who they are, and they would be let in on the "secret" of our plans to adopt them!  Ug, quite the predicament.  My coordinator said that our scenario is pretty much unheard of.  Host children do not typically feel comfortable reaching out to host parents before meeting them. There are two host programs coinciding right now, an 8 week extended stay in America for children who are being re-hosted by the same families, and a 5 week host period for new families.  We are a part of the 5 week program, but the 8 week program began a few days ago.  Over in Latvia they had to get all of the orphans and chaperones together from both programs for an informational meeting about their trip to America.  This is why our children have found out about us this early.  We know that A received his welcome letter because Keiffer's Facebook account is under the name Keiffer Marino, not Keith Marino, which is what the agency knows him by. In the letter to A,  he used his nickname Keiffer instead of Keith. Hence our putting two and two together.

Our coordinator thought it best to send him a private message saying that we cannot yet communicate through Facebook as friends, but we can private message and email.  She congratulated me though and said this is a VERY good sign that he is reaching out and shows his excitement to come meet our family!  I decided to call the Latvian program director to verify that this is the best way to communicate with A and I got a different answer from her.  She was very shocked as well at A's willingness to reach out, and says that this is super exciting and we should be totally flattered.  That so many host families wish they could be in our shoes.  It gives us a head start in building a relationship 2.5 weeks before he even comes to America!  Most people will step into the unknown meeting their host families and children for the first time when they get off the airplane! Her suggestion was to clean up our Facebook of all things adoption related and accept his friend request.  Although this is enticing, we don't think this is the best decision.  It is too risky to have people see his identity.  There is the chance that he may find our adoption website, blog, or see someone post something about our plans.  Once again, we want to protect the kids and make sure that they are protected and nothing disrupts our chance at adopting them.

Keiffer decided to private message A on Facebook in English as well as Latvian.  He got a message back from A saying he is SO excited to meet Keiffer and our family!  He then emailed Keiffer saying pretty much the same thing, and is counting down the days :)

Contact #2!  a few days later E sent Keiffer a friend request!  A obviously shared his findings with her, and it looks like she is eager to reach out as well!  He private messaged her back telling her how excited we are to meet her, and asking her some questions about her likes, and also her clothes size. He received a message back from her in Latvian saying a simple, "I don't know.  I will have to ask". I am assuming that she doesn't know because in orphanages they wear clothes of all different sizes, as nothing really "belongs" to them.  I can't wait to give both of these deserving children clothes and shoes that are all theirs.  No one else gets to wear them and they will be the correct sizes!  E made contact once more with his shoe size, so at least we have something to go off.  

So this is super exciting for us.  We are hoping that we can get some more useful information about their clothes and shoe sizes as well as the things they are interested in.  We are counting down the days to their arrival and making all the preparations for them.  We have booked our travel plans for New York where the kids will arrive and have made plans for Calista, Bridget and Tennyson to be watched by friends while we are gone.  We will bring Penelope with us since I am still nursing her.  We are finishing up dossier paperwork which will be sent to Latvia for review to be granted the chance to appear before a judge and attempt to adopt A and E.  SO much preparation has gone into this and now we finally get to meet them in just 14 days!  AHHHH!  It's like REALLY GOING TO HAPPEN! It's so surreal.  Please pray for these two kids, and for our family, that our hearts may be prepared for what is about to happen, and that we can accept whatever becomes of this experience.

Thank you for following us on our journey!  So many of you have supported us both financially and emotionally, and we are eternally grateful!  We still need help financially as our adoption expenses are about to start coming fast and furious getting into dossier and travel to Latvia, so please consider donating to our adoption fund.  You can donate quickly and easily by clicking donate:

It's about to get VERY exciting! Don't miss a post! 

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Exciting Update!!

So we have run into a lot of road blocks in our quest to adopt an orphan.  Having another baby set our timeline back, and since Russia closed their program down to Americans, we haven't known what direction we needed to go. We looked into other countries, and kept finding that their programs were either shut down, took upwards of 6 years, or we didn't meet their criteria for adoption.  Most of these countries have ridiculous criteria, like adoptive parents not being able to having any biological children, or needing to `have been married for a minimum of 10 years!  Anyhow, we have been waiting it out and giving our family time to adjust to our new baby, and seeing if adoption is still right for us.

Keiffer is rather certain that he doesn't want any more biological children, but more importantly, does not want any more infants.  He is diapered out, if you know what I mean!  We continually have things happen to us like seeing something on television about orphans that stirs our hearts and whispers, "You need to adopt".  This usually happens late at night right before bed, and then all of a sudden Keiffer and I are back on our lap tops side by side browsing adoption sites and researching international adoption.  Trying to find that spark to ignite the fire again and guide our way. 


The other day my friend Amy, the same one who inspired me to look into Russian adoption, posted something on Facebook about a non-profit organization called Project 143.  Oh boy, did this open up a can of worms!  I went to the website and found out about hosting orphans.  Something I had never heard of before. Looking back at my friend's website, I saw that she had just hosted an orphan from the Philippines, and read all about her experience as well of that of about 5 of her friends who did the same. It brought new hope in our quest to help an orphan!


So what is hosting?  Some orphanages "shut down" for a short time in the winter or summer, and they move the children to camps.  I am not too sure what these camps are like, but another option that is available to select orphans, is to go on a "vacation" of sorts to America to live with a family for 5 weeks.  A family in America "hosts" the child.  Their photos are put into a photo-listing to be selected by people interested in the program.  If they are selected, so begins the process.  So the very first question that came to my mind and I think everyone who first hears of this is program would ask, "Isn't that cruel to take a child out of an orphanage, show them everything they are missing and then send them back?"  After reading more about why they have this program, and what it does for the children, I realized that this is actually a good thing.  Hearing testimonials of families who have hosted, as well as from orphans themselves, I feel good about the cause.


I filled out the initial pre-application, which would give me access to a photo-listing of orphans available for hosting.  As I scrolled through the children I came across the most gorgeous little girl whose name I will keep confidential but call "E".  She was just staring right at me. I read a short bio on her which said this:


BEAUTIFUL, FRIENDLY & LOVING! "E" likes dogs/cats and has good marks in school. Her favorite subjects are Visual Arts and home economics. She likes to play with kids. She likes to make paper crafts, do hair and manicures. If she had money she would buy earrings and nail polish. She wants to become a hairdresser one day. She is very sweet and loving girl and has a good relationship with her brother. She is healthy and does not take any medication. 


So anyone who knows me would see why I was so drawn to her.  She could totally be my daughter, seeming as I love visual arts, am a cosmetologist, owned a hair salon, am a crafter, love dogs and cats, and have two girls who are total girly girls!  Oh, add to that my obsession with hair bow making and dressing my kids up. 


I brought hosting up to Keiffer, prefaced with a "So I've been thinking"...  He jokes that whenever I say that it usually costs him $3,000!  Not really, but he knows I had some serious wheels turning in my head.  He thought it was just another one of my "great ideas", but when I showed him E's picture he said, "She's an orphan?!", followed by a "Let's do it!".  We slept on it and in the morning as I was revisiting the photo-listing, I realized that E has a brother whose name I will also keep confidential but call "A".  A handsome boy whose bio read this:


RESOURCEFUL! "A" is in 8th grade. His favorite subjects in school are math, sports, and home economics. This summer he earned money by picking berries in the woods and onions and selling them. He prefers being outside, but also enjoys computer games. He likes hiking and swimming and enjoyed golfing when he was in America last time. He also liked to help his host mom cook meals. He thinks it would be fun to be in a city. The social worker says that he struggles with low self-esteem.


What a handsome boy!  Immediately I thought about  how I would love to have him in the kitchen with me making delicious food.  He sounds like my child with his creative mind looking for ways to make money :) Seeing that he suffers from low self esteem made my heart sad. 


In reading more details about eligibility of hosting, I found out that siblings cannot be separated when being hosted. So if we are interested in E, we would "have" to bring along A.  It didn't take us but a short conversation to come to the agreement that this is totally the best thing for them and we wouldn't want to split them up anyways.  Even if it was allowed.  In fact, their being siblings we feel they will have a better time transitioning.  Knowing they have each other to confide in and communicate with during their trip, makes us feel a little better.


We spoke with a representative from Project 143, asking as much information on both children as she had available and became certain that we want to bring them here to America to be with us this summer.  Here is the catch.... we want to adopt them!  Oh boy, here we go.  So one of the wonderful bonuses to this hosting program is that these children are all eligible for adoption by their host family, and a great deal of them, after being hosted, get adopted from their host family.  As we envision this experience with E and A in our heads, we just know that we will fall in love with them and be devastated to send them back to their hometown in Latvia to continue living in the orphanage.  An orphanage can't  love them and provide for them the way that we can.


We committed to both children by placing a deposit down on their travel costs.  Fortunately we have the money readily available sitting safely in our adoption account! The hosting will be very expensive, costing us $5,500.  Seriously crazy huh?!  But it is so worth it when you realize that we can change a life, or in this case, two lives. This cost includes all of their travel expenses to and from Latvia, the cost for two chaperons, their Visas and other legal documents, paperwork, etc.  And you know what is even more crazy, is that they will arrive, "with the clothes on their back".  They don't own anything, so will come with nothing.  This means, that we will be buying all of their clothing and personal hygiene items, in addition to everything else they will need while here.  We will be able to send them back to Latvia with a large suitcase and backpack with all of the items we can fit in it, which will be so nice for them. Adoption will be a lengthy process, so there is no question that we will have to send them back.  At least for awhile.


I have so much more to share, and will do so in my next post.  More details on our plans to adopt E and A and all of the crazy emotions we are experiencing.  Our world has flipped upside down and I know when speaking for myself, I am scared out of my wits!  Now all of a sudden we are wondering how in the world we are going to pull all of this off.  How are we going to pay for the adoption of not one but TWO children?  After the hosting, we will only be left with $4,000 in our adoption account, and will be in need of what seems like an impossible amount of money!  How are we going to afford a new vehicle with room for 8?  How are our hearts going to cope with the ups and downs that are inevitably going to come our way.  How in the world are we going to be parents to a pre-teen and teenager?!!  Like WOAH!  It is easy to get discouraged and not know how it is all feasible, but we both have faith that God has a plan for us.  He has all along.  He has stirred our hearts for long enough and now it is time that he is calling us to ACT.  We know He will take care of us.  He will send us angels here on earth to make this all possible.  We have faith.

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