Adoption Reunion

A few weeks ago we had the privilege of attending a reunion hosted by our adoption agency.  It was a chance for adoptive families to come together to meet and socialize.  For us, it was an opportunity to see for ourselves real people who have gone through the adoption process and meet the sweet children who were rescued from orphanages in Russia.  I had been anticipating this reunion for months and was so excited to go! My mom had been in town visiting from Washington state and it was her last day with us.  I was excited for her to meet these families and witness with us the impact that adoption has on the lives of children.

In addition to excitement, I was pretty nervous to go to the reunion.  Mostly because I didn't know how my conversations would go with the parents.  I don't know what specifically was causing my anxiety, but my heart was definitely racing.  When we arrived it was a pretty chilly day for San Diego. It was on the beach and there was a chilly breeze, but not so much that we were uncomfortable.  We all just made sure to bring a sweater and wear long pants. 

There weren't many people there when we arrived, as we were one of the first.  We were greeted by our agent Brent who directed us to write our names on stickers and affix them to our sweaters.  Others put the name of the country or region they adopted or were adopted from on their name tags.  The kids ran off toward the playground equipment while Brent pointed out some families to us and gave us a brief description of their adoptions.  We found out that Brent is retiring and a woman named Lori will be taking his place.  This is a huge piece of news for us because it brought up some serious conscerns.  The main thing that I really loved about this agency is Brent and his 13 years of experience with Russian adoptions.  We did have the chance to meet the new director and get a good feeling about her.  She aswered all the questions we had and assured us that we will still be in good hands.  She said that the process of adoption through their agency and with Russia is pretty iron clad, and set up not to fail, even if the director changes.  The rest of the staff stays the same and the paperwork will remain the same.  She will still have Brent as a support when she needs, which makes us feel better.

I thought it highly unlikely, but I really wanted to run into the Colucci family who adopted a little boy named Michael from Russia.  I knew that they adopted through our agency, and had previously asked for their contact information from the agency but with that information I had no luck in getting a hold of them.  The reason I wanted to contact this family is because theirs was one of the first YouTube videos I saw on Russian adoption, and it moved me to tears each time I watched it.  I even sent a link to Keiffer while he was deployed oversees, telling him he had to watch it.  You can view his story by clicking here:  Michael's Adoption.  It just so happened that they used the same agency for their adoption!

To my great surprise very shortly after we arrived, I saw little Michael and his mom walking toward us from the parking lot!  I couldn't help my excitement and I eagerly approached her introducing myself and telling her about how inspiring her adoption story was to us.  It was so surreal seeing in person this little boy and his parents who had made such an impact on me from the start of our journey.  I let her get situated as Keiffer and I got to work meeting other parents and watching their adorable little angels running around and climbing the play structure.

We met a single mother who adopted a set of twin girls when they were around 10 months old.  More and more families began showing up, and soon we had the opportunity to chat with the Colucci's.  They had five biological children before adopting Michael, so we were eager to hear about the adjustments to their family dynamic.  Their whole process went very smoothly and they told us their children were all so happy to have the new addition.  When we asked if they learned any Russian prior to going there they said they hadn't.  In fact, none of the families we spoke to did.  They all agreed that it was totally unnecessary since the whole time they were in Russia they were escorted by a translator.  Even so, I think we are going to try to learn as much of the language as possible between now and our trips there. Russian is a hard language with an entirely different alphabet and very challenging dialect. The Colucci's told us that what happens to many children who have been adopted out of an orphanage and leave Russia, they don't want to hear Russian spoken.  They try to say Russian words to Michael and he tells him to stop it.  His ice skating coach is Russian and she tries to speak to him in her native tongue but he doesn't like it.  I have read a lot about this. Some children associate negative things to their old life in Russia and good things to America and the English language.  I guess they don't want to be reminded of that time in their lives.  In this picture you can see Michael on the left about to slide down the big slide to his dad and the mother with her twins talking with Keiffer on the right.

We absorbed each piece of advice we received, and relished in hearing the success stories the parents shared.  Most parents said that they decided to adopt from Russia wanting to "save" a child, but came out of it feeling like the child saved them.  They ended up feeling like that child was meant for them all along. That through the process they learned so much more than they expected.  They all feel like their adoption journey didn't stop when they brought their child home.  That it continues with trying to help others adopt and to raise awareness.  They stand as testimony that it is in fact possible to do what seems to so many like an impossible feat.  We haven't even officially signed with our agency yet, as we have to wait until we move to Maryland, but it has already been an emotional roller coaster.  I am changed just from researching adoption.  Knowing now what reality is for so many children in the world is something I can't turn away from.  Feeling like I can really make a difference in one child's life is surreal.  I am prepared to be changed by this child we don't even know yet.  I know that the process and his story will impact so many more individuals than we even imagine, including our three biological children.

I really wanted to take pictures of all of the children and families but didn't want to look weird taking a bunch of pictures of everyone.  Looking like a tourist or something! I really wanted to get a close up of sweet Michael as he is such a cutie pie!  I did manage to take one shot of a sweet girl who insisted on my taking her picture after she watched me shooting Bridget and Tennyson.  What a doll and look at that blond hair!

The really cool thing about this whole experience was just stepping back and watching these kids running around playing, and me not having a clue which ones were biological or adopted!  I just couldn't tell unless I looked at their name tags.  Only a few looked noticeably different than their parents.  There was one adorable little Asian looking girl from Russia who had Caucasian parents, and a few other brown hair brown eyed kids with blond hair blue eyed parents.  It was like any other day at a playground with ordinary kids just having some fun.  We had people left and right asking us where we got our kids from!  It was such a funny question, but a real one when you are in a group such as this.  We were a minority there having had biological children, and it was really strange being placed in that scenario.  I kindly responded, "Oh, these are all my biological children, and we are just starting the adoption process".  Most were surprised that we wanted to adopt after having 3 young ones biologically, but were excited for us and our journey.  They were all equally supportive of us getting a young boy to follow after Tennyson as it would be perfect for our family dynamic.

 

 

 

We sat on the grass and ate some lunch, enjoyed the beach and all the amazing company.  It was a tremendous day and one I won't soon forget.  The agency usually posts photos they take at the reunion, but for some reason, they didn't have anyone taking pictures this time.  I inquired why the photos hadn't been posted yet on their site, but he said regretfully that no one had taken any.  It made me so mad that I didn't take any of the kids.  I could have sent them to him!  But all is not lost, I did take some of our family and some from afar of the kids playing.  If you would like to view more photos of children adopted through our agency, CLICK HERE and check out the photo galleries from the Adoption Options reunions.  It is fun looking at the sweet children who live happy ordinary lives here in America!

Here is a pooped out Tennyson swinging on the beach.  How blessed we are!

 

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