I just have to say that I can't believe the title of this
post. I remember over 3 years ago
reading my first "Gotcha Day" post from a stranger who was adopting
from Russia, and the day seemed so far off that I would be experiencing the
same thing for myself. Our day had
finally came! We were to finally see our
kids again after 8 months apart, and this day was to hopefully be the last day
that two kids would ever have to sleep in an orphanage again! We were thrilled
to find out that we would pick the kids up first thing in the morning and prior
to going to court. Our attorney is on maternity leave, so we were picked up by
her assistant and her driver. We drove for about an hour out to
the country side which felt like we were out in the middle of nowhere! The further we got away from the city, the
more snow blanketed the ground. The road
was extremely bumpy and we were bouncing all over the place the whole way. We couldn't fit two car seats in the van and
still have room to pick up E and A, so Tennyson sat next to daddy on the drive.
Most of the buildings were very old and run down, and every once in awhile we
would pass a little town which the locals like to call villages. For miles, all we could see through the
filthy windows of the van, were fields of snow and forest. The main industry here in Latvia is timber,
and now I see why. I guess like 2/3 of
the country, which is about as big as West Virginia, is forest! We saw a
vegetable oil refinery right by the orphanage.
We finally arrived in a tiny village and outside our window
we could see the orphanage!! A and E greeted us at the front door. After 8 months of
separation since we hosted them this past summer, we were finally together
again! The kids looked exactly the same, and E hadn't gained an ounce since we
last saw her. A's hair was longer, and he had switched out the teddy bear
earring he had in at hosting with a green thumb tack! Silly boy. Both kids
latched onto me with super tight lingering hugs! Yes, daddy and mommy were
really here like we said we were going to be! For a moment we stood in a state
of disbelief that this was all really happening. Someone please pinch me.
The orphanage was empty, as all of the rest of the children
were at school. We met the Director who
runs the orphanage, the woman who was second in charge, and also one of E's
teachers. Our attorney helped us to communicate
with them by translating for us. We brought the workers at the orphanage two
flower arrangements, one for each floor of the building so that everyone could
enjoy them. Turns out Latvians LOVE
flowers, so it was the perfect gift! Interesting fact, which I found out later,
here in Latvia a dozen roses is only given at funerals, and so their roses come
in bundles of 11. I'm not sure how many roses I put together in these
arrangements, so hopefully it wasn't 12!
The orphanage living areas are divided by age groups. The downstairs is for kids ages 0-12, and the
upstairs is for 13 to 16 years. E began
showing us around begiinning with her room.
She has two tiny beds which are smaller than our American twin sized
beds. I'm wasn't sure what was going on, as there were no sheets or warm blankets on the beds. Just this one thin blue blanket laying on top
of a mattress. She said that every morning they have to take off their sheets and blankets, fold them, and put them in a drawer under the bed. Then they place the blue blanket on top. It must be to minimize the amount of dirty laundry, since they probably play on their beds during the day. She had a suitcase packed and ready to go,
but wanted to leave most of her stuff behind.
I had told her on the phone that she should leave as much as she can for
her friends, since she will get everything she needs in America. She took me literally, and was happy taking
with her just a small amount of clothes, and some books.
3 children shared another room, including one 3 year old
little boy. I had told my friend Peggy
about this little boy who is Tennyson's age, and this past summer she made him
a cozy Cars blanket, which she sent with E after hosting. I was happy to see it hanging on his crib in
this room! It makes me feel so good that
he has such a comfy blanket to snuggle with!
She then showed us around the main room where they eat,
play, and spend most of their day. It is
pretty small. About the size of our
living room at home. Tennyson found an airplane on one of the shelves to entertain himself while we
walked around.
The bathroom was pretty clean. There were two separate
toilets for boys and girls. Each child
has their own cubby where they hang their towel and have all of their
toiletries. They share a single tiny
bathtub.
It was then A's turn and he took us upstairs where the older
children live. A's room looks like a typical dorm room. He shares it with one other boy. His bed is too small for him. Again, a little smaller than an American
sized twin bed. He was the same as E in
the fact that he only packed a tiny bit of clothes in his suitcase, and a
backpack with some books. I snuck a peak into one of the rooms that is shared by three teenage girls, and it was
a mess!
The orphanage has a few cooks who prepare all of the
meals in an industrial kitchen. The kids do not get the
opportunity to make their own food, but they say that they do eat pretty well.
The older kids have a separate room downstairs where they eat and hang out. It has a
dining table, a side table and two old Lazy Boy style chairs. Pretty bare. The cook will leave food out on the table for
the kids to eat as they come and go between meals. I went into this empty room to find a table
of food, and no one around. All of the kids besides A were at school. There is also a tiny kitchen off to the side where the kids can wash their dirty dishes, and get some water.
We said our goodbyes and were off to court! On our way to court we passed a building where the kids do folk dancing.
We were a few minutes late to court, so the secretary was
right at the door awaiting our arrival. We rushed out of the van, forgetting to
bring any snacks or entertainment for the little ones. We filed in and saw a
large table with a female clerk in front of a type writer, three women and one
man as the panel, and a woman at the head of the table who was the Chairman or
facilitator. Penelope went into complete
meltdown and was being super disruptive.
Fortunately the panel were all smiles, and handed her pens and paper to
keep her occupied. Eventually Keiffer
had to stand up with her and bounce her around as we answered questions.
The conversation began with questions about why we want to
adopt, why these two kids in particular, and since we already have 4 little
ones, if these two kids become our babysitters?
These followed by questions about what our plans are for our stay in
Riga, and our plans for the kids when they come back to America with us. They then asked us if we had any statements
to make or questions, and at that point I thought it important to express our
concerns about the kids not being able to come home with us this trip.
To give a little history on how adoption works in Latvia,
typically families have to make three separate trips to the country before the
adoption is complete. The first trip is
for approximately 3 weeks, and during the stay the adoptive parents get the
kids out of their orphanage or foster home and the orphan court grants them temporary
custody of the children for the time they are in Riga. During this time, a social worker will come
and evaluate the living conditions, the family and the bonding between all
members. At the end of the 3 weeks the
family goes before the court once again and at that point the court makes a
decision to let the children go to America with their new prospective parents
for an extended "bonding" period before the second court date, which
is about 3 months, later. In almost
every instance if the parents and children are getting along, the court will
grant the temporary custody. On the
second trip the family will go before the regional court, which is more
official, and they will grant permanent custody to the parents if the kids
still want to be adopted, and the reports from the previous stay and all other
information is acceptable and in order.
For some reason, our adoption is the first of it's kind, in
the fact that the court made a decision before our even coming to their country
that our kids have to stay in Latvia until they finish out the school year. A
is in the 9th grade, which is the last year of middle school here. They do not like the idea of us taking him
out of his Latvian school for 3 or 4 months, and then him deciding he doesn't
want to be adopted. He would have to redo 9th grade. A of course wants to be adopted, and this is
a ridiculous scenario.
We were very diplomatic in our approach and presented a
pretty good argument for the kids to return home with us. I explained to them
how the American school system works, and how in California, where we are
moving, A will not only be doing 9th grade over again, but he will be starting
year round school beginning in July. If
he stays in Latvia and we get him in July, we will have no time to prepare him
for his new school. We need the chance
to get him up to speed in many areas, but mainly in his English reading and
writing. His completing school in Latvia
will be of zero value, and will only hinder him from progressing. Keiffer and I both described our plan for
both of the kids' education, the activities they can get involved with, and our
plans for our cross-country drive in March.
We feel it extremely important that the kids share in the experience of
moving to our next location, so the changes will be shared among our entire family,
and not just A and E. The entire panel
was nodding in agreement, and it was obvious to us that we had changed their
minds. At one point in the conversation
the chairman told us that they needed to think about it, and give us a decision
later, and the one man on the panel told her in Latvian, "There is no
other option!".
The court spoke with all of us first, then just Keiffer and
me. They then rendered their decision
and granted us temporary custody of the kids for our time here in Riga! They
were all smiles and we were extremely grateful. The only question now is will
they be able to go home with us in 3 weeks?
That decision is yet to be made, but we were grateful that we could just
be a family again!
We drove back to our apartment in Riga and the kids were
super happy! They loved being in the
city, and were very pleased with our beautiful apartment. We went out to a very nice dinner where we
all ordered the same thing. Pretty
funny, but I think the kids were a little out of practice with making decisions
:) Turns out none of our credit cards
were working on the restaurant's machine, and Keiffer was had money, but was
about $5 short of Euros from what we owed.
The man was very nice and told him to come back the next day and pay the
rest. The next night Keiffer did go back
and the man was extremely grateful he kept his word.
At last, our kids were under our roof and safe and sound
under our custody. The day didn't seem like it would ever come, and I think we
said at least 10,000 prayers for this moment to happen! We are so thankful for everyone who helped
and continue to help us financially.
Without all of you and the bits and pieces that you contributed along
the way, this wouldn't be happening! I
hope that each and every one of you feel your Heavenly Father's arms wrapped
around you tight for your selflessness and your contributing to the bringing
together of two children with their family.
Thank you to God who is the one who prompted us to adopt. He guided us when we were searching for a
place to adopt from, he confirmed to us when we saw the photos of E & A
that they were our kids, and he pushed us when we felt defeated by the whole
process. It has been the most difficult
journey that we have ever had to experience.
We never expected the amount of emotional turmoil that this process
brought, but we are grateful for our faith, for it is the only thing that kept
us going.
Please continue to pray that our kids can come home to
America with us this first trip. We still need your financial support, as this
journey and our financial obligations are not over yet! Be a part of bringing A & E home!! Every little bit counts. Thank you!
*To maintain anonymity, I have omitted certain photos from the original post of this blog. For those close to me, I would be happy to share more photos of this day and the orphanage privately :)
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