"Thick Skin"

Today didn't start off well.  I was at an event with a large group from my church celebrating Independance Day.  All was well until a friend of mine brought over a friend of hers and introduced me.  She said that this woman's sister adopted two chidren from Russia.  I was expecting some great story or some words of encouragement, but I quickly realized this was a sort of "intervention".  A friend who cares about me and my family and wants to protect us, and a woman with the perfect horror story to talk me out of it.  I felt completely cornered and attacked.  I understand that when you only know one person and that person had a bad experience, that this is all you know.  You then label every scenario as one that would go this same way. 

I tired to remain calm and sweet as I defended my position and all that I have researched, and shared with the woman a few of the success stories I have come across.  She had a very skeptical look on her face and kept chimming in, "I'm just warning you".  She made the comment, "my sister's kid is just retarded!".

Why do people feel the need to do this?  Do people just assume that I don't know anything about the process of international adoption or the risks?  Like I haven't researched it and carefully thought it through?  I hate ignorance and I absolutely can't stand it when people use one isolated case to make a point.  Honestly, it just made her look bad, and I shouldn't have given her or the conversation a second thought. 

I am not good at brushing things off when I feel offended.  It is something I am working on.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I need to understand that most people have no clue about international adoption, and the only thing they have to go off are stereotypes.  It just made me extra angry that this woman is a member of my church and understands Heavenly Father's plan and that we are all children of God.  Each child deserves love and deserves parents of their own.

While conversing with this woman I watched as a man walked by with his beautiful baby who has down syndrome.  I wanted to grab the lady and ask her if she would have warned this man in the same way she was warning me about how difficut it would be to raise his child with special needs?  Would she try to talk his wife out of having the baby?  I think not.  But for some reason, she felt it perfectly okay to try to talk me out of rescuing a baby boy from a life in an orphanage, with no chance of a normal, healthy life.

Throughout this process I have been told time and time again that I need to develop a thick skin if I am going to adopt.  There are going to be some high highs, and some low lows.  There will be hiccups in the process, delays and frustrations.  There will be great joys, triumphs and accomplishments.  There will be a ton of cheerleaders on the sidelines encouraging us on and there will be nay sayers tearing us down. 

I need to stay true to my heart and the prompting that Heavenly Father has given to me.  I need to seek out support from those who love me and believe in the Lord and His work.  I can't let the times when people try to "warn me" or "protect me" get me down or cause me to rethink everything.  I know that this will be a very emotional journey.  It already has been, and it's only been a week!  Everyone says though that along with the ups and downs, it is the most amazing life altering experience and I will so overjoyed when I have my baby boy in my arms and am able to give him a family and all the love that he deserves.  To know I saved his precious life and didn't allow some well-meaning, but ignorant people change my decision to adopt.

The point is that this is MY journey.  My family's journey.  My little boy's journey.  It's no one elses.

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